Service Description

A service that transforms esotericism into a stand-up comedy genre. Perfect for parties, corporate events, or a solo night with wine.

Service Steps

Briefing: The client submits their date, time, and city of birth. Optionally (at the client’s discretion), they can also send 3–5 facts from their life or photos. Natal Chart Creation: The AI Astrologer builds an authentic chart but searches within it for humorous aspects, contradictions, and indicators of a «malevolent spirit.» Scriptwriting: Translating the astrological data into the language of office jargon and memes. The text is written according to comedic principles: setup (a fact from the chart) $\rightarrow$ punchline (harsh reality). Visualization: Formatting the text as a note. Comic Sans typefaces are used. Receiving the Result: Sending a PDF file via chat or reading it aloud at the event (a «Black Box» format available for an additional fee).

Monetization via Micro-payments (B2C): Transforming entertainment into a stable revenue stream. The goal is to achieve a monthly income of 150,000 rubles by the end of the first half-year by selling PDF analyses («dossiers»).

Corporate Sales (B2B): Capturing the niche of «informal team building.» The goal is to secure 10 corporate orders (HR events, employee gifts) within the first year, with an average check size of 25,000–40,000 rubles.

Asset Creation: Building a Telegram channel with a vibrant, loyal audience that can be monetized through native advertising from barter or affiliated youth brands (apparel, bars, gadgets).

Audience Engagement (per «Reading»): Likes (Reactions): 5–8% of total views. Comments: An essential element. Every «dossier» must include the note: «Do you agree with the diagnosis? Admit in the comments which point hit closest to your heart.» The goal is 15–20 comments under each analysis post.

Mentions: A minimum of 5–10 tags in Stories or private chats («We did this at the party, it was hilarious»).

Business Goals: Conversion rate from free content to purchasing a «Reading”—2–3%. Selling a minimum of 50 „corporate dossiers“ for the New Year holidays.

Goal 1.1: Product Validation (B2C) Specific: To sell 15 individual «Toxic Dossiers» (PDF analyses) through the Telegram channel and private messages. Measurable: 15 paid orders (invoice — 490 rubles). Achievable: This goal is achievable with a 2–3% conversion rate from an audience of 1,000 people (which we will build using viral VK Clips). Relevant: It confirms that people are willing to pay for humorous esotericism, rather than only consuming free content. Time-bound: By the end of the first calendar month since project launch.

Goal 1.2: Building the Core Audience Specific: To gain 1,000 target subscribers in the Telegram channel. Measurable: 1,000 subscribers with an Engagement Rate (ER) of no less than 20%. Achievable: By creating 3–5 viral videos on VK Clips with a total reach of 50,000–70,000 views. Relevant: We need a base to test different «dossier» formats and gauge tone. Time-bound: The first 30 days.

Stage 2: Scaling and Automation (Months 1–3) Goal 2.1: Optimizing B2C Sales Specific: To increase the number of individual analysis sales and launch the sale of a subscription to the «Toxic Horoscope of the Week.» Measurable: 60 sales of individual dossiers per month (averaging 2 per day). 30 sold subscriptions to the weekly horoscope (invoice — 290 rubles/month). Achievable: After implementing a Telegram bot for automated payment acceptance and distribution of standard files. Relevant: Reducing the manual workload on the author and stabilizing cash flow (Customer Lifetime Value increases with subscriptions). Time-bound: By the end of the 3rd month of operation.

Goal 2.2: Viral Reach in Short-Form Video Specific: To achieve a total of 500,000 views across short videos (VK Clips / Shorts) per month. Measurable: 500,000 views, of which at least 5% must be unique viewers who transitioned to Telegram. Achievable: Regular posting (1 video per day) utilizing trends and «hooks» in the first 3 seconds. Relevant: A low-cost influx of cold traffic to fill the sales funnel. Time-bound: Monthly, starting in the second month.

Stage 3: Entering B2B and the Corporate Segment (Months 3–6) Goal 3.1: First Corporate Contracts Specific: To secure agreements with 3 companies for «Astro-Toxik» team-building events (online or in-person). Measurable: 3 signed contracts with an average invoice value of 25,000 rubles per event. Achievable: Direct sales via LinkedIn.

Direct Competitors: Instagram esoteric practitioners who create «Roast Cards.» They use real cards as a basis, but often degenerate into hurtful insults, losing their lightness. Weakness: Visually, this is usually just text on a colored patch—it lacks the depth of a developed «dossier.»

Indirect Competitors: Classic astrologers and services like Astro.com or Sotis-Online. Weakness: They are too serious. Their audience seeks salvation and hope; ours seeks a reason to laugh. We do not overlap in needs.

Potential Competitors: Neural Networks. A user can upload a card to ChatGPT and ask it to «roast me.»

AI Weakness: The neural network does not sense context and often jokes superficially. Our value is the «human stand-up» layered over dry data. We know where to press the emotional pain points—the AI does not.

Substantiate key claims with facts, examples, and measurable results.

Use case studies, data, demonstrations, and practical analyses—these diminish skepticism and make the solution verifiable.

If your audience might have a doubt, it is better to address it here in advance.

Define a clear next step for the audience: what exactly are they being asked to do after the presentation.

Specify the format, stages, or conditions if they influence the decision.

A strong call-to-action slide eliminates ambiguity and converts interest into commitment.

Condense the main idea of the entire presentation into a concise and memorable statement.

You can return to the initial problem and illustrate the new state achieved after implementing the solution.

The final screen must retain the core message and direction—even if the viewer remembers nothing else.