My name is Anna Aseeva I am 41 years old, and all these years I have not been able to find a place either in this world or inside me. I am not a young artist, but last years I work on project which could not have appeared earlier than now, because in order for it to be born exactly like this, I had to go through all these situations that made me plunge into pain, depression, emotional swings, anxiety and other mental disorders. My project its installation but for me it is a long durational performance in which someone’s invisible hand constantly turns the hourglass at the very moment when the last grain of sand should fall and stop this pain, but instead, with one movement, looping it, sending it to a new circle The installation created using photographic methods, consisting of four rooms, each of which is dedicated to a specific acute autobiographical problem. HIDDEN MOTHER ENDLESS LONELINESS
1 room. MOTHERHOOD What almost every woman dreams of, what makes almost every woman happy, what gives meaning to this life. Almost, but not every. And I am among them. To my great human and feminine beginning, for a number of reasons, motherhood has become for me torture, a cage, a curse and a source of unceasing pain from the moment of the first labor pains, which do not end even after 13 years of my motherhood 2 room. LONELINESS A gray textured space strewn with dried flowers, whose wilting made them even more fragile and at the same time beautiful. Heartbreaking aching emptiness without the right to hope. Love is the only gift that cannot be earned, and having earned it, it is impossible to take hostage. Love is free and that is all it is. The most cherished dream but also the greatest fear of receiving it, fearing loss… Loneliness is both pain and salvation from this unbearable pain. 3 room. ADDICTION A wonderful world, a universe of salvation from loneliness and pain, which in a split second is transformed into a hell inhabited by nightmares and monsters. And there is no way to track this second Absence of the instinct of self-preservation, a path of self- destruction every second. Fear of instant suicide 4 room. KEY A vicious circle where one thing is superimposed on another and instead of a full color (as in the subtractive method) a black hole is formed A black hole to which all these neon roads lead from all three rooms, permeated with despair and pain
